Alex scire

Things come and go, but I stay the same. Thoughts rush through my head giving me barely enough time to process them. These thoughts, although almost exclusively self-righteous and concieted, I believe pertain to mankind as a whole. The idea of self enlightenment, the process of self preservation, the ability to achieve complete introspection and to truly focus the truth behind ones self must be explored completely if one is ever expected to find a heightened sense of fulfillment in the limited time we are given. I believe the human race searches endlessly for purpose as the result of frustration, boredom, confusion, and lack of motivation. A human is capable of so much but generally speaking, achieves so little. If a person sits by themselves and confronts themselves with two simple questions and strives toward first answering, and then secondly, fulfilling those answers, that individual would not only surpass the expectations they had previously had for themselves, but would then be in the position to not only influence, but also mentor others toward this higher state of achievement. The questions are as follows: what makes a person good? And , how do I attain those qualities? The answers to these questions will be different for everyone but the result will always be the same. If, for example, you answer: a good person is physically fit, donates to charity, and is compassionate towards others, how could anyone argue that you’re wrong. If your answers are: a good person is morbidly obese, steals from the elderly, and feels no compassion toward the less fortunate, several people may disagree with you, but are you wrong? The question is completely personal and the challenge is to be honest to no one but yourself, so if you believe your answers are true, there is no way anyone could logically disagree with you. The difficulty in this process is the ability to tell yourself the truth. Guilt is based on going against ones inner sense of the difference between right and wrong. There is guilt that is learned, such as the guilt which is felt under situations of a sexual nature. The feelings of sexuality and sexual attraction are completely natural and unavoidable to a human being yet we, for the most part, are taught to suppress these emotions and feelings in the name of manufacture morals and beliefs. Once again I must reiterate that this system of beliefs is a personally tailored one so that is a person feels he or she is truly damaging themselves with a certain behavior such as sex, this behavior may very well be applied to the list of things that person may feel he or she needs to improve. The point is that certain acts shouldn’t be automatically condemned based on a predetermined set of values. I realize this is a very liberal theory and in no way do I condone the rationalization of immoral behavior. But I do believe in the questioning of questionable behavior. Personally, when I stopped lying to myself and admitted that certain aspects of my lifestyle did not contribute to my sense of fulfillment and happiness, a weight lifted off of my soul. In my heart I knew the self destruction needed to stop and the preservation of self needed to begin. Once this realization was achieved, I was able to move forward with my life and closer to being a truly content human being. That doesn’t mean that my behavior was necessarily wrong or immoral, but it does mean that the way I was behaving was wrong for me. Once that realization was made, it became apparent to me that you have become your only judge, your only jury. You have the ability to manufacture you own self fulfillment, your own happiness. I believe this is something you must do for yourself and that no one can do it for you. You can be told a countless number of times by others that which you should or should not do, but it is only when YOU understand what it is that YOU must do can you begin to move forward.
Triumph of the Will. No relation to Adolf Hitler. Once a list of things that need to happen is compiled, the next logical step is to work toward the application of these goals. Of the two steps this is by far the more difficult. Once again I believe that nothing is real unless it is achieved by ones self. This means that you must take complete responsibility for your self. If you succeed it is your achievement, if you fail, it is completely your fault. There is no room for weakness, there is no place for crutches. The goal is to as strict and as black and white as possible. Keep in mind we are talking about things that are within your range of control. These things will be fairly basic, but will significantly change the state of your well-being both psychologically and physically. I have been exposed in my life to countless scenarios where something has happened to me that I wished never had. I know that is a very general statement and I believe that just about everybody can relate to it. Upon considering these episodes I’ve come to the realization that no matter what the situation, they all had one common factor, my involvement. This means that if I had not participated in these given scenarios, they would not have affected and or damaged me. Now, I am not saying that victims do not exist. I am not saying that bad situations can always be avoided. What I am saying is that quite often, personally speaking, I can remember feeling as though I was putting myself into harms way whenever any of these situations played out. I know that I was a key contributor almost every time I’ve found myself in a difficult situation. If I can Identify my own fault in these harmful situations it only stands to reason that I’ve participated in my own peril. Did I always deserve the end result, no. was every situation a result of some fault of my own, not always. Did I sometimes deserve the laceration on my head, the cut under my eye, the inflamed pancreas in my gut, the loss of a friend, the loss of trust from loved ones, the embarrassment, the pain, not always, but certainly sometimes. I do believe that through the identification and obliteration of my own flaws I have improved my life and the lives of those around me. The truth stares you directly in the face when you are willing to be honest and responsible. Don’t try to make yourself something you are not. Acknowledge your fault, feel your pain, taste you weakness, and begin to evolve.
One other facet of this process is the resistance toward self pity and victimization. And part of this aspect is the recognition of the victimization of others. This may be extremely difficult for some a people to do. It is easy to play the victim. “I can’t do ----- because ----- happened to me.” A strong person can take the shoe, put it on the other foot and appreciate what others have overcome and gain strength from others achievement. It never ceases to amaze me what people will let hold them back from achieving something that they claim they want. They identify their goal, then proceed to smother it in excuses as to why they cannot achieve it. These generally aren’t even truly ambitious goals. Things as simple as minor weight loss remain unattainable to your average American and obstacles used as crutches are completely acceptable excuses to the vast majority. There is no reason children and a job should prevent you from watching what you eat or exercising. This is the plight of the over privileged American. It amazes me how little we can achieve when we set our minds to nothing. I have had people praise me for the fact that I don’t drink anymore and I manage to get a workout in 3 times a week. Nothing baffles me more than to find out that we as humans are so easily impressed. I am a thirty year old man who has avoided killing himself by just simply not raising a bottle to my lips. I feel as though I should be punished for the years I wasted, not rewarded for the ones I didn’t. I spend one hour 3 times a week lifting weights in my basement while listening to music or watching a movie, a true achievement accomplished by an extraordinary human being. I am able to laugh at myself now, and my sarcasm may seem slightly pompous but for just one minute think about what might be killing you, hurting your family, making someone you care about cry, contributing to someone you don’t even knows’ bad day. Did you just make it worse? Did the middle aged Puerto Rican woman who was truly kind to you when you ordered your latte at the Wal-Mart Dunkin Donuts improve your day? How do you think she felt about you? You affect so many people in a day. You have the ability to………Do what? This is not that heavy or deep. I guess what I grow more and more tired of each day is mediocrity masked by excuses for under achievement. I don’t feel I am even close to the person I could be. I don’t loath myself I just recognize my flaw. Do I believe I am above average intelligence? No. Do I believe that I exceed my potential? Absolutely not. Do I believe I meet my potential? No. Am I tying to approach my potential? Yes. As cliché as it sounds, I believe all people can do is their best. Unfortunately I don’ believe that most people even do that.
One of the primary flaws we as humans possess is just that. The human element, the ability to reason and rationalize holds most people down. I want people to evolve. I want people to program themselves. The ultimate in discipline. Write a program. If you set a timer at fifteen minutes, in fifteen minutes that machine will sound itself. Mission accomplished. No questions asked, no strings attached. I think people should strive toward clock like precision. Set a goal and do it. I bet if analyzed people expel twice as much energy working around something rather than pushing through it. Imagine if you will impending doom. Something you cannot cheat or get away from. The inevitable. Something that is not going to kill or maim you, but something that is going to ruin your day in a big way. It’s a pretty daunting concept. It is a feeling some of us have been through, maybe even more than once. I say don’t run, don’t resist, don’t prolong the inevitable, meet it head on and absorb it. Learn from it. Turn it around and make it part of who you are and ultimately, gain strength from it.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, If you started pursuing something when the idea struck, you’d be done by now. We as humans have an amazingly hard time getting from point a to point b because we haven’t convinced ourselves of the straight line theory. We bob and weave, twist and turn, go over, go under, and around. A solution could be staring you right in the face and you’re still searching for an alternative. An easier way out. I suppose we are all products of our environment to some extent. Learned behavior. We cower when things are slightly inconvenient. The concept of elbow grease has died and been replaced with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. We as humans don’t achieve because I truly believe we’ve lost the ability to survive. We are on 24/7 life support from fast food and cable TV. I watch television and see these reality shows about survival. Real people pushed to extremes. I would love to get on one of those shows, pop one of the camera men in the head and turn the camera around. I’d like to see if any of the other camera men, boon mic operators, paramedics, or personal chefs would help him out before the natives have their way with him. We as humans possess the ability to go any where or do anything we want but instead of living it, we’re content seeing someone else do it on TV. I don’t want to die wishing I had done more. I don’t want my last reflection back on my life to leave me bored to death. Why do so many settle for mediocrity. What’s worse to me is that these terribly bland people have no problem bearing children and raising them in their image.
I feel very sorry for the youth of today. Programmed to accept so many contradictions its insane. A woman’s exposed breast is cause for national outrage. This level of smut will not be tolerated by the stuffed shirts. While at the same time these same youths have come to appreciate the true artistry, compassion, and beauty of a public beheading or hanging. The media handled the hanging of Sadam Hussein in a wonderfully evasive and non confrontational manner. Sadam was shown being brought out to the gallows by men in executioner masks. We never saw the body drop, but we did se the corpse after the fact. How truly confusing for a young child to endure. This form of media coverage will be burned into a child’s mind. Unfortunately I believe the message will be received as how hanging is a sure fire easy way to off yourself. The media exposes these children to the atrocities of death and destruction, but remove the ugliness. First of all, there is no lesson learned except for the first lesson of suicide 101. Secondly, if we are going to project this kind of ugliness into our children’s minds, we should not remove the brutality. Show it for what it is. Don’t make it seem clean and neat. Show the eyeballs pop. Show the neck snap. Show the fecal matter fall through the pant leg. Show execution in all of it’s ugliness. If not, why show it at all. It’s like saying hardcore porn is OK to play on primetime as long as strategically placed black bars are present. A black screen with the words SADAM HUSSEIN WAS HANGED should sum it up nicely. You know how I felt watching Sadam heading to the gallows? I felt sorry for an elderly man who knew his death was eminent. What I believe the media coverage created was true to their game. Take a son of a bitch murderer, rapist, genocide inducing asshole and make us sympathize with him. True hypochondria from the media. But, hey, anything to take the heat off of Justin Timberlake throwing Janet Jackson firmly and directly under a bus. Wait, I had a point,….right?
So. I believe that the human race in America has become far to diluted. Passion has been replaced with complacency. Reason has been replaced with rationalization. Achievement has been drowned in self victimization. Strength has been replaced with weakness. I truly believe that people can move beyond the hypocrisy. I believe that people are capable of feeling their pain, knowing their limitations, understanding who they are, and blowing all of that shit to high heaven. Don’t convince yourself you can’t do it. Just get up and do it. If you want something that doesn’t exist, manufacture it. If you have an idea in your mind, exploit it to the highest degree. If no one is saying what you want to hear then you damn well better take the initiative to say it. Take your mind and use it. Don’t cry about what you don’t have. Don’t dwell on who you are not. I believe that a healthy person should not allow themselves to stand in the way of who they want to be. If you wake up in the morning and stand gazing into your bathroom mirror and don’t like what you see, rearrange it until you see something else. If you have a sense of guilt or disappointment in your soul, find the source and fucking obliterate it. Destroy the elements that keep you from moving forward. Don’t spend another day procrastinating. I believe if forced to be honest, almost every person on any given day could come up with a long list of small and relatively simple tasks to be done that would truly allow them to put their head on their pillow that night and breath resounding sigh of accomplishment giving them an unparallel feeling of self worth and achievement. So many adversities exist outside of your head and are out of your control. You cannot afford to allow limitations placed on you to come from inside of yourself. I believe that you can be your own worst enemy or your own best friend. I say go for option three. Become your own disciplinarian. You own drill sergeant. Have no mercy on yourself and get done what you want done. No room for leniency or weakness. Take care of yourself as only you can because you are all you are. You are the only thing you can be sure of in this world and if you don’t take care of your self, who will?

A new compilation of music by Alex Scire is currently in progress. Full length cd will be available at cdbaby.com.